Lose Yourself

I want to be lost
Not found
I want to stay confused
Not clarified
But it doesn’t mean I have to
Go crazy
Start on a reckless path of self-destruction
Or hurtfulness
Just lose myself
Among the trees, the crossroads, and mountains
Just when you think you know yourself
There is more discover
Still I know my wants, needs, my goals
Just changing the way I think
My vision expanding
As I explore the never ending extent of knowledge
Explore, research, study, and ponder
This is the best part
Getting to know your self
The world
Everyone’s perspective and realities
It will take time
To make my own perspective
It will take experimentation
Case studies
Learning and experience
Before I figure out
Before I adapt it as part of myself
Honestly, naturally, genuinely
Until then I am an explorer
I am lost but not frightened
Confused but like a mathematician
I am just cracking the code
Solving the equation
Like a scientist
My research is just beginning
I will observe
Or throw myself into the thick of things
But I can be just as balanced
Just as good intentioned
It is the journey that matters
Not the destination
By: Amara Van Orden

Different Yet the Same

A new hustling bustling part of this world
A different culture, history
Yet when I look around
Everyone seems to be going after the same things
Same facial expressions
Same body language
Same emotions
Even halfway around the world
I begin to believe, to see
We are much more similar
Than we realize
Much more reliant on each other
Than we know
Separated by boundaries and languages
Yet the full hearted wish to just share
To better understand each other
And want to be a part of something together
It is the space between
That defines where we are
By: Amara Van Orden

I Am Stronger On My Own

I am stronger on my own
Yet still incomplete
I am stronger without you
Because my knees wobble
When you’re around
My heart skips a beat
Breath taken
Speechlessness
But you don’t catch my breath
So…
When I am with the ones
Whose knees I make wobble
I feel so adored, powerful
But I know it is wrong and leading on
So, I let them go
Because my breath is perfectly intact with them
My skin doesn’t tingle
My chest isn’t full of that overwhelming warmth
I have not yet met someone
Strong enough to be with me
I have not yet met someone
I can be strong enough with
And I am at that experimental age
And these are supposed to be my
Peak athletic years
So I am single, single
Because they say
I would do so much more
I would see so much more
And these are the times
When everyone thinks
You should have everything you need
Be everything
Before you fall in love or settle
Yet I know better
Falling in love is never convenient
It is never planned
Plus who wants to be with someone who is perfect?
Who has reached their potential before your own?
And I am at that age
Where I question everything
When liberal thinkers
Make up the plethora of my education
My entertainment
I will admit
I like being able to do whatever I want
I like just being me
An individual of freedom
No one critical of my actions
Of my habits
But shouldn’t the one you love
Let you be an individual
Because that is what makes
Any relationship interesting, complementary
I really do value my independence
My alone time
But at the end of the day
It is the people in my life that matter the most
Because if there is one thing
I am doing at least right in my life
The most worthwhile valuable aspects of my life
It is the love I learn from others
It is the love I am giving
By: Amara Van Orden