The Dark

The dark
Its silence and peace
Shadows creep
People sleep
Silhouettes of mountains
And unknown shadowy figures
The dark
Mysterious and unknown
Yet an urge
Drive all night
When the world is still
When you can see nothing
Run at twilight
When the air is cool
And streets are empty
When the stars shine
A wonderment of mind begins
Of me, myself, and the universe
Expands me beyond my skin into space
When the moon
Glimmers beaming bright
Into my sanctuary
Bouncing off my skin
And sleeping eyes
Comfort found in this cold glorious light
Reminds of the grandeur and majesty
Beyond this world and life
The dark is still
Time to finally breathe and see inside the self
When looking outside the self all day long
When breathing is easily forgotten in daylight
The dark
Revealing
When the mind wanders before sleep
Revelations of the day and self
Rise to the surface bluntly
Revealing
When the cowards come out
Use the dark as a cover
When loneliness easily overpowers
Or any emotion feels exaggerated at this worn-out hour
Revealing
Whether sleeping it off
Making changes tomorrow
Or staying up, facing your demons
They always seem to magically appear out of the dark
The way you face your demons is what matters most though
The dark
Universally known or felt as fear
Yet once faced with darkness
And one resists its seductive misleading power
Able to see right through it
Find the dark is just an abused power
And is meant for calming and putting to rest nature
By its natural sedative affect
The dark
Life changing
Confronting fears
That pivotal moment
Letting the fear rule you
Escaping the pain of it self-destructively
Or looking it in the eye
Choosing to not let it control you
Realizing even when it is dark
One can still shine
Even when it is dark
Good can be found

By: Amara Van Orden

"And the night shall be filled with music/And the cares that infest the day/Shall fold their tents like the Arabs/And as silently steal away."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, The Day Is Done

"Learn to reverence night and to put away the vulgar fear of it, for, with the banishment of night from the experience of man, there vanishes as well a religious emotion, a poetic mood, which gives depth to the adventure of humanity." -Henry Beston

Shut My Mouth, Shut My Mind, Shut My Heart II

Shut my mouth, shut my mind, shut my heart
Whatever it takes, to move on, to let go
Must not have those kind of thoughts
Must not daydream
Must not sigh, regret, or despair
Just let it flow, let it go
What’s done is done
What’s meant to be will be
Even though it is really hard to believe that right now
It is really hard to see how my future will be altered
So I can finally maybe have my “happy ending”
Happy ending?
I don’t believe in fairy tales
I don’t believe in soul mates
I do believe in love though
In its power to expand, grow, and heal
Bring peace, joy, and comfort
To change even the worst into good
Still I don’t want to rush
Because as said fools rush in
I don’t want to be blind
I don’t want to have to change
Or give up any part of me just to
“Make it work”
If I change or sacrifice
I want it to be genuine
I want it to be unconditionally given out of love
I don’t want to be desperate
And just “settle”
Or do something mad
And feel ashamed or dumbfounded
By my possessed behavior the next day
I don’t want to force any situations
Just let chemistry and falling in love
Take its natural course
And hope my love is strong enough
To last beyond that lusty high stage
I have lived long enough
To have had my heart broken a couple of times
I have seen enough
To just sometimes not care
And not want to make an effort anymore
I have felt deeply enough
To sometimes not know what to do with myself
Enough that sometimes I wish my heart wasn’t so big
Yet in the end despite the sorrow, heartache, and regret
Despite my wisdom enough to know
I could just shut my mouth, shut my mind, shut my heart
Never feel pain again
Yet life without pain allows no room for growth
More opportunities for one’s love to grow
I have my “woe-is-me” moments
Still I know tomorrow anything is possible
I know I have the power to choose
Sometimes all it takes is exercising your willpower
It can make a profound difference in a moment, in a relationship
Still I know I am strong enough to be on my own
I don’t need a knight in shining armor
I am not damsel in distress
I don’t need anyone to tell me you’re beautiful or so smart
I could have worked hard all day or been incredibly lazy
I still value myself above anything else at the end of the day
Especially when I know God created me
In the end it’s just this simple truth
When comes down to the roots of this complicated web
Of emotion, wisdom, and heartache
I am just human and wish to be loved like everyone else
And wish to share my love

By: Amara Van Orden

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." -Matthew 6:21

"Sometimes the greatest love is not found in the dramatic scenes that poets and writers immortalize. Often, the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend to those we meet along the path of life. True love lasts forever. It is eternally patient and forgiving. It believes, hopes, and endures all things. That is the love our Heavenly Father bears for us. We all yearn to experience love like this. Even when we make mistakes, we hope others will love us in spite of our shortcomings—even if we don’t deserve it." - Joseph B. Wirthlin, “The Great Commandment,” Ensign, Nov 2007, 28–31

Go On, Go On!

I like the expression “go on”
It sounds so hopeful
It sounds so strong
An action verb
An expression of endurance and power
Just going and going on
When everything falls apart
Or seems too hard
All one can really do is go on
When you can let yourself be
And keep doing what you need
What you should
Even when the going gets hard
When you keep moving along despite it all
It proves your strength and your will power
I noticed going on is the best way to feel normal again
It somehow roots me back more into reality
Into the logic of my mind, less conflicted with emotion
Into my skin like awaking to the dawn dancing upon my skin
With my first waking breath I know I am alive and well
Ready for anything, ready to embrace the day
The clarity of moving along
Shines upon my sometimes chaotic mind and heart
Scattering the chaos with a light so bright and clarifying
I sometimes wonder how I got lost in the darkness
Yet I know the darkness is necessary
To understand what light is and to want to choose it
I go on and on
Time blurs the good and bad
I learn how to slow down time
When to speed it up
All I know is I must go on
Because letting myself drown in my sorrows
Or drown in the hardship of life
It is intoxicating unhappiness or underapperciation
All I know is that humans were meant to walk and run
Hence I keep walking on and on
I begin to feel purpose and reason behind it all
When I know God just wants me to keep walking
To keep enduring to the end
Even when the going gets hard
The best way to be I have learned
Is to go on
Hence go on, go on
Walk on, walk on
Life’s many opportunities and experiences
Will unfold and collide into you then
Life’s challenge will blur and pass
Only become apart of the stronger you
The one that gets in shape from all the walking
Sometimes its okay to take a break to stretch and breathe
Let the moment last
Let the heart, mind, and body rest in silence and peace
But then we must go on
If we are ever to keep learning, to keep growing
To make a difference
To keep loving
Hence go on, go on
Walk on, walk on

By: Amara Van Orden

"But the test a loving God has set before us is not to see if we can endure difficulty. It is to see if we can endure it well. We pass the test by showing that we remembered Him and the commandments He gave us. And to endure well is to keep those commandments whatever the opposition, whatever the temptation, and whatever the tumult around us. " - Henry B. Eyring, “In the Strength of the Lord,” Liahona, May 2004, 16–19

"Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience.
Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy." James 5:10-11

"God forbid that I should justify you: till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me."
Job 27:5